
Santa’s helper’s have been naughty
Santa (aka Kris Kringle) known in San Diego as the “Jolly Red Marauder” just said that he is “Sick of the fucking cold ass North Pole” and in between long swigs from an unlabeled whiskey bottle he continues “Mrs. Claus is being a sore bitch, I think she is always on the rag… I’m just sick of it.”
Santa turns to find one of his many little elves (aka Santa’s Little Helpers) passed out. After a few swift kicks to the chest the elf rises up slowly and scampers off cursing under his breath.
This Sunday Santa will be at The Ruby Room. Due to it’s very red theme and it’s availability of tall cans of Santa’s Blue Ribbon with a Merry little shot of Whiskey. Santa has moved his workshop to Hillcrest.
Since most of the elves are passed out drunk or trying to score at Flick’s it seems that Santa needs help making gifts for all the naughty boys and girls.
Gift creating stations include:
*Santa Beast’s Zombie stuffed animal station where you can make cute animals into horrible zombies.
*The nefarious Dr M. has supplied some tools to “enhance” plastic and ceramic figures which may resemble Barbie getting a nose job in Tijuana.
* Sacrilegious Santa will be up to no good helping out the evil Doctor and the deranged Holiday Night Beast.
*Also fan favorite and local legend Piratey Santa may make an appearance if she is not pillaging and plundering elsewhere and she is not busy sitting on Santa’s lap will be helping gift wrap coal for all the naughty boys and girls.
It starts at Happy Hour (6pm) and ends when all the Santa’s Pass out.