Santa’s helper’s have been naughty

Santa (aka Kris Kringle) known in San Diego as the “Jolly Red Marauder” just said that he is “Sick of the fuck­ing cold ass North Pole” and in between long swigs from an unla­beled whiskey bot­tle he con­tin­ues “Mrs. Claus is being a sore bitch, I think she is always on the rag… I’m just sick of it.”

Santa turns to find one of his many lit­tle elves (aka Santa’s Lit­tle Helpers) passed out. After a few swift kicks to the chest the elf rises up slowly and scam­pers off curs­ing under his breath.

This Sun­day Santa will be at The Ruby Room. Due to it’s very red theme and it’s avail­abil­ity of tall cans of Santa’s Blue Rib­bon with a Merry lit­tle shot of Whiskey. Santa has moved his work­shop to Hillcrest.

Since most of the elves are passed out drunk or try­ing to score at Flick’s it seems that Santa needs help mak­ing gifts for all the naughty boys and girls.

Gift cre­at­ing sta­tions include:

*Santa Beast’s Zom­bie stuffed ani­mal sta­tion where you can make cute ani­mals into hor­ri­ble zom­bies.
*The nefar­i­ous Dr M. has sup­plied some tools to “enhance” plas­tic and ceramic fig­ures which may resem­ble Bar­bie get­ting a nose job in Tijuana.
* Sac­ri­le­gious Santa will be up to no good help­ing out the evil Doc­tor and the deranged Hol­i­day Night Beast.
*Also fan favorite and local leg­end Piratey Santa may make an appear­ance if she is not pil­lag­ing and plun­der­ing else­where and she is not busy sit­ting on Santa’s lap will be help­ing gift wrap coal for all the naughty boys and girls.

It starts at Happy Hour (6pm) and ends when all the Santa’s Pass out.

Santa Claus is com­ing to town!

The evil Santa ring­lead­ers have just announced a Santa Con­ver­gence in San(ta) Diego. These naughty noel mak­ers have been invad­ing cities for over a decade.

The Santa’s are meet­ing up at the Bal­boa Park Foun­tain at noon on Decem­ber 19th (Santa’s Day). Expect rein­deer games, debauch­ery, and ho ho ho.

Visit the offi­cial site

Visit the Santarchy and San­ta­Con sites!

Don’t visit this site!